PSA: The things you should never ask strangers on the internet
Yes, I am a stranger on the internet offering advice. This is called a paradox and it is for your own good.
You have seen it before — the Dear Abby columns, Suze Orman can I afford it segments (spoiler alert: you most likely cannot), Loveline, etc. — people asking another ideally unbiased party for advice on their personal situation. In today’s world this looks like an innocent Meta post in a health group, an #advice hashtag or AITA-type Reddit post. As someone who does not use Twitter or Meta, I occasionally get entertaining screenshots of questions from various social media apps via group text, a modern way of getting a laugh while getting to know each other a bit. Most recently a friend forwarded a poll that someone had asked a travel group; the poster’s question: If you are going on a trip with your partner, is it normal for the person who makes more money to pay more for the person who makes less? Our group was divided in opinion but equally entertained by the ensuing conversation. However, I started to wonder how our society got here. When did we stop wanting to make our own decisions and instead rely on feedback and validation from strangers on the internet? That is definitely a topic for another day but in the meantime, here are the things I recommend you never discuss on the internet:
- Relationship advice.
Think about it. You are in a relationship that is supposed to be full of love, honesty, trust and loyalty. Yet you wonder who it is that should pay the Netflix bill and instead of having what could be a productive discussion about finances you decide to ask the internet; the place full of people with biased opinions based on their personal lives and experiences. Do you really want to be with this person? Talk to your partner and come to an agreement. And if that doesn’t work then there is probably another answer in of itself there but what do I know, I too am a stranger on the internet. Lastly, if you have to ask if you were wrong or right in any given situation the answer is likely both because love is as complicated and messy as it is beautiful. This is also the one you should avoid discussing with friends — they will always be the most biased. Talk to your partner and a professional if needed.
2. Health advice.
Sometimes doctors use social media but I guarantee you no credible doctor will diagnose your tummy aches based on a 5 sentence post describing your symptoms. They usually need to see you or at least have a 1-on-1 conversation to start. And ladies, you do realize that people can be anyone they want online? So that very personal lady business question may very well be seen by those you do not want to know but in reality none of us want to know and honestly none of us need to know. Ask close friends or see a doctor please because all we will do is read the content in disbelief and silently judge while worrying about our children’s futures. And again, everyone is going to use personal opinions solely based on their own experiences.
3. Money advice.
This one is tricky because learning about finances is one thing, but personal money advice is completely different. For example, you can learn how a 401K works but you would be pressed to find someone to give you good free advice on what do you with your own 401K. Sure you can provide a bit more detail on your retirement goals, etc. but do you really want that available for all to see? There are scammers out there looking for as much personal information they can get on people to social engineer their accounts or steal identities. It is pretty easy to find a consultant who can work with you directly. Though you may have enjoyed the humblebrag about what to do with the $1M you inherited, just know that you will more than likely receive a mix of admiration and judgment instead of the sound advice you were seeking.
4. Hole in the wall/niche locations, investment strategies, etc.
Let’s see, you need vacation ideas and your question begins with, “My partner said they’ll take me on an all expenses trip, it can be whenever for as long as we want. Any ideas on where we should go?” Eye roll. It is not because I am jealous but because it reeks of attention seeking. None of us know anything about you or your partner — do you like warm weather vs cold, prefer 5 star suites vs tree houses, where have you already been, etc. There are plenty of posts, blogs and vlogs out there covering just about everywhere in the world, do a search on the type of trip you want to take and voila — travel ideas abound. Either you do not want to put in the work of doing your own research or you want to humblebrag again. Plus — and I heard this directly from a friend — a lot of natives prefer not to have tourists come trample and take pictures of their special “hole in the wall” especially when they do not equally patronize the business itself. I think you get the trend now, people’s opinions are always biased. Same goes for whether you should do a call or put on Tesla stock, but I feel I have made my point.
Good luck out there!
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